If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
