just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
