covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
