My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
