"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize