i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
