you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
