I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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