I'm lost and stupid without you.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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