we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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