we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
