i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
