I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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