Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
