Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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