My first STD was from a foam party
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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