were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
