i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
