my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
