he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
