I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
