If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
