It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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