Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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