Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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