end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
