I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Randomize
