When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
