Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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