this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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