Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
this just has baby written all over it
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
