yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
