Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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