He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
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