they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
