At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
