can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
