you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
