Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
did you just send me my own nude
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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