Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
