Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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