remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize