I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
worst night to have a conscience
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
