I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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