you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
