i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
