That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize