Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
