I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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