All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
