I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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