Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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