I am puke
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
