some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
