she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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