The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize