It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
