Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
