no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
