We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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