they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
