They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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