I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
