Moan for me like Helen Keller
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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