Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize