one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
