it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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