Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
