if i can run in heels then i can drive
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
